Read to learn how to handle grief and loss this Christmas with tips from a therapist.

Grief During the Holidays: How To Cope With Loss, Loneliness, and Healing

Learn more about Grief and Loss Therapy.

In This Blog, You Will Learn

Why grief during the holidays feels so intense
Common reasons people experience grief and holidays together
The stages of grief during the holidays
Coping strategies for grief during holidays
How therapy treatments support grief and loss
When to seek professional grief counseling

Why Grief During the Holidays Feels So Hard

Grief on holidays often feels amplified because traditions, routines, and memories highlight what or who is missing. You may notice grief during the holidays appearing suddenly while shopping, hearing music, or attending gatherings. For many people, grief holidays without a loved one bring waves of sadness, anger, numbness, or guilt. Grief during holidays does not mean you are doing anything wrong. It reflects love, attachment, and meaningful connection.

You might also notice:

Increased loneliness even when surrounded by others
Pressure to appear happy or grateful
Emotional reactions to grief and holidays, therapy quotes, memes, or social media posts
A sense of loss tied to traditions that no longer feel the same

Common Reasons People May Be Grieving

Grief is not limited to death. Many forms of loss can surface as grief during the holidays. Grief around the holidays often combines current pain with past memories, making emotions feel layered and overwhelming.

People may grieve:

The death of a loved one or pet
Divorce, separation, or relationship loss
Estranged family relationships
Miscarriage, infertility, or pregnancy loss
Health changes or chronic illness
Loss of a job, career, or identity
Major life transitions such as moving or retirement
Loss of traditions or family structure
Trauma or loss of safety
Community, cultural, or identity-related loss

The Stages of Grief During the Holidays

Grief does not move in a straight line. You may experience different stages of grief during the holidays, sometimes all in the same day. Grief does not follow a straight line, especially during emotionally charged seasons. You may move between stages, revisit earlier feelings, or experience several at once. Grief during the holidays can intensify these shifts as traditions, memories, and expectations bring loss into sharper focus. A grief therapist can help you understand where you are in this process, normalize your experience, and provide support without pressure to move on or “feel better” before you are ready.

1. Denial

What it can look like

Feeling emotionally numb or disconnected
Going through the motions without feeling present
Avoiding decorations, gatherings, music, or traditions
Staying constantly busy to avoid feeling the grief

Helpful reminders

Denial can act like a temporary buffer when emotions feel too big
You are not doing grief wrong, you are protecting yourself

How therapy can help

Helps you reconnect with emotions gradually and safely
Offers support without pushing you to talk before you feel ready

2. Anger

What it can look like

Frustration, resentment, or irritability
Feeling triggered by others’ joy or holiday “cheer”
Anger at the loss, the situation, family members, or yourself
Feeling impatient, reactive, or easily overwhelmed

Helpful reminders

Anger is a normal response to loss
Anger often covers deeper pain, heartbreak, or unmet needs

How therapy can help

Gives you a safe place to express anger without judgment
Helps you understand what the anger is protecting underneath

3. Bargaining

What it can look like

“What if” and “if only” thoughts
Replaying conversations, decisions, or moments in your mind
Wishing you could change the past or prevent the loss
Feeling stuck in guilt, regret, or self-blame

Helpful reminders

Bargaining is common, especially during quiet moments and memory-heavy holidays
These thoughts are a sign of love and longing, not failure

How therapy can help

Helps you notice these thoughts without getting trapped in them
Supports self-compassion and reduces guilt and rumination

4. Depression

What it can look like

Deep sadness, tearfulness, or heaviness
Withdrawing from people or holiday activities
Fatigue, low motivation, or feeling emotionally shut down
Changes in sleep or appetite
Losing interest in traditions you once enjoyed
Even comforting activities feel exhausting

Helpful reminders

Depression during grief does not mean something is wrong with you
It often reflects the depth of what you have lost

How therapy can help

Supports you in caring for yourself day to day
Helps reduce isolation and gently rebuild routines and stability

5. Acceptance

What it can look like

Creating new traditions or adjusting old ones
Honoring your loved one in meaningful ways
Allowing sadness and moments of peace to coexist
Feeling more grounded, even though you still miss them

Helpful reminders

Acceptance does not mean the grief is gone
It means learning how to live with the loss while still moving forward

How therapy can help

Helps you integrate grief into your life without losing yourself
Supports meaning, purpose, and connection over time

Coping With Grief During the Holidays

Acknowledge Your Experience

Helpful reminders

Grief during holidays is personal and valid
There is no right timeline and no “correct” way to grieve
There is no requirement to feel festive or participate in everything

Try this

Name what you are feeling without judging it
Give yourself permission to take things one moment at a time

Create Flexible Traditions

What this can look like

Keeping a tradition but modifying it so it feels manageable
Starting a new tradition that feels gentler this year
Skipping certain traditions that feel too painful right now

Try this

Choose one small tradition that feels comforting
Create a simple ritual, like lighting a candle or making a favorite recipe

Set Boundaries

What boundaries can sound like

“Thank you, I’m going to pass this year.”
“I can come for a short time, but I need to leave early.”
“I’m not up for talking about that today.”
“I’d love support, can we check in after the event?”

Helpful reminders

Dealing with grief during holidays often requires protecting your emotional energy
Saying no is not rude, it is self-respect and self-care

Stay Connected

Support options

One or two trusted friends or family members
A grief support group
A therapist who understands grief and loss
Online support if in-person connection feels too hard

Try this

Plan a short, low-pressure check-in with someone safe
Ask directly for what you need, like “Can you sit with me for a bit?”

Allow Moments of Joy

Helpful reminders

Grief and joy can exist at the same time
Feeling a moment of peace does not mean you are forgetting your loss
Laughing does not cancel out love or sadness

Try this

Let yourself enjoy small comforts without guilt
Notice one calming moment each day, even if it is brief

Be Mindful of Media

Why it matters

Grief during the holidays quotes, memes, or posts can feel validating
They can also intensify sadness, comparison, or loneliness

Try this

Limit social media when you notice a mood shift
Mute or unfollow accounts that feel triggering right now
Save only the grief during the holidays quotes that feel grounding or supportive

How Therapy Treatments Help With Grief During the Holidays

Grief counseling provides a supportive space to process loss, manage emotional waves, and develop coping tools that fit your life. At Mountains Therapy, grief treatment is personalized and may include the following evidence-based approaches.

Acceptance Commitment Therapy

ACT helps you make space for painful emotions without being consumed by them, especially helpful for grief during holidays when avoidance feels tempting.
Learn more about ACT Therapy.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

CBT supports you in identifying grief related thought patterns that increase guilt, anxiety, or hopelessness during the holidays.
Learn more about CBT.

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy

DBT provides tools for emotion regulation, distress tolerance, and grounding when grief feels overwhelming or unpredictable.
Learn more about DBT.

Emotionally Focused Therapy

EFT supports individuals, couples, and families navigating grief and holidays together, especially when grief impacts communication and connection.
Learn more about EFT Therapy.

Gottman Method

The Gottman Method helps couples cope with grief during the holidays by strengthening communication, emotional safety, and teamwork.
Learn more about the Gottman Method.

Mindfulness-Based Therapy

Mindfulness helps reduce overwhelm by grounding you in the present moment rather than being pulled into painful memories or worries.
Learn more about Mindfulness-Based Therapy.

Narrative Therapy

Narrative Therapy supports you in processing the story of your loss and rebuilding identity after grief.
Learn more about Narrative Therapy.

Psychodynamic Therapy

Psychodynamic therapy helps explore deeper emotional patterns, unresolved grief, and attachment wounds that resurface during the holidays.
Learn more about Psychodynamic Therapy.

Solution Focused Therapy

Solution Focused Therapy helps stabilize daily functioning and build practical coping strategies during grief through the holidays.
Learn more about Solution Focused Therapy.

Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

TF-CBT supports individuals whose grief is connected to trauma, sudden loss, or distressing memories.
Learn more about TF-CBT.

When to Seek Professional Grief Support

Consider reaching out for grief counseling if:

Grief during the holidays feels unmanageable
You feel isolated or emotionally numb
Sleep, appetite, or daily functioning are impacted
Grief is connected to trauma, anxiety, or depression

Services We Offer at Mountains Therapy

We offer support for grief and loss through multiple therapy options, so you can choose the level of care that fits your life and needs:

Individual Therapy for personal grief support, coping tools, and emotional processing
Couples Therapy for partners navigating grief, communication, and connection
Family Therapy for families coping with loss, changes, and conflict
Online Therapy for flexible support from home
In Person Therapy in Montclair NJ for care in a face to face setting

You Are Not Alone This Holiday Season

Grief and holidays can feel isolating, but support is available. Mountains Therapy in Montclair, NJ offers compassionate grief counseling through Individual Therapy and Online Therapy to support you through this season and beyond. IIf you are coping with grief during the holidays, navigating grief holidays without a loved one, or simply need a safe place to talk, help is here.