What Are Boundaries?

How to Identify and Set Your Own Boundaries

Within human relationships, boundaries act as the instructions, guiding the steps of interactions and preserving the harmony of your emotional well-being. As a therapist, I often witness the transformative impact of recognizing, understanding, and setting boundaries. In this blog, we'll get into what boundaries are from a therapist's perspective and explore real-life examples to help you navigate the world of personal boundaries.

Defining Boundaries:

Imagine boundaries as the protective fence around your emotional and mental space. They are the guidelines that define what is acceptable or unacceptable in your interactions with others. From a therapist's view, boundaries are not walls that isolate; rather, they are bridges that connect while respecting individual needs and limits.

Examples of Boundaries:

• Emotional Boundaries:
• Example: You've had a long, stressful day at work, and a friend calls to share their problems. While you care about your friend, setting an emotional boundary means recognizing when you need time for yourself and expressing that you're not in the right space to discuss their concerns at the moment.
• Physical Boundaries:
• Example: You're attending a social event, and someone invades your personal space. A clear physical boundary involves communicating your need for personal space and gently stepping back to maintain a comfortable distance.
• Time Boundaries:
• Example: Your colleagues frequently ask you to stay late at work, impacting your work-life balance. Setting a time boundary involves communicating your availability and negotiating realistic expectations for your workload.
• Online/Digital Boundaries:
• Example: You receive constant messages from a friend that disrupts your focus. Establishing a digital boundary means expressing the need for designated times to respond to messages and setting expectations for communication frequency.
• Self-Care Boundaries:
• Example: You've committed to a weekend of self-care, but friends invite you to multiple events. Setting a self-care boundary involves communicating your need for downtime and expressing that you won't be able to participate in all the activities.

Understanding Your Boundaries:

• Self-Reflection:
• Take time to reflect on your emotional responses and comfort levels in different situations. 
• What situations make you feel drained or overwhelmed? What activities bring you joy and fulfillment?
• Communication:
• Therapists often emphasize the importance of clear and assertive communication. Practice expressing your needs and limits in a way that is respectful yet firm. 
• Remember, healthy communication is key to maintaining strong boundaries.
• Consistency:
• Boundaries are most effective when consistently upheld. Therapists support individuals in building the resilience needed to maintain boundaries even in challenging situations.

Understanding and setting boundaries is an ongoing journey of self-discovery and self-care. As a therapist, my goal is to guide you in recognizing the power of boundaries and empowering you to navigate your relationships with authenticity and respect.  If you find yourself struggling with boundaries, consider seeking support from a therapist to explore and navigate this important aspect of your personal growth.

Remember, setting healthy boundaries is not selfish; it's an act of self-preservation and a crucial step toward fostering fulfilling connections and preserving your emotional well-being.